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Submitted on
June 8, 2009
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  • Mood: Rant
  • Listening to: "Play With Me" by the Thompson Twins
  • Reading: "Darling" by Ougi Yuzuha
EDIT 5/11/2014: Guys. GUYS. STAAAHHHP. This journal is fucking FIVE YEARS OLD, and that's about how old all of you are acting. I would say sorry for ~ruining your life~ by venting about your favorite sparkly animoo, but I'm not. And if your whole identity is really tied up in a fucking fandom, you have serious issues. Seek help. Disabling comments when I can, because whether you're trying to prove some stupid point to me, defend me, or logic this out with me, you're all equally retarded. Go home, boys and girls, show's over!

So a few friends have been asking me lately what I've got against this inexplicably popular series that seems to have popped up recently called Axis Powers Hetalia. They love it... and I HATE it. Hate it hate it hate it!!! But the mere fact that it fills me with boiling rage everytime I think about it is not a good enough reason for them, so I guess I'll try to piece together why it pisses me off so very much. -I'm- not even entirely sure why I dislike it so much, so this'll be a learning experience for everyone involved, hmm? :)

First off: the concept. Yes, it's kind of a cute idea. Anthropomorphization of anything can be fun if done well. The problem is, it's not done well. This wouldn't be such a big deal if the series wasn't so fucking popular. You can get away with some historical errors if you're a little podunk webcomicker with a solid twelve fans, but not if your series is so big that it gets turned into an anime. And the whole WWII thing is just in bad taste, especially coming from Japan, a country that, to this day, tends to deny any wrongdoing in WWII. And that's certainly not me hating on Japan, that's just a fact.

Second, the characters. Jesus-fucking-Christ-on-a-cross, the goddamn motherfucking characters. Talk about the most uninspired, unoriginal, impossible to tell apart, two-dimensional, and flat-out insulting cast of characters you've ever seen!! It pisses me off both as an artist and as a writer to see so much praise heaped upon such bland, poorly-designed characters. Yes, you can argue that they're supposed to be stereotypes or something and ignore the fact that none of them have any sort of engaging personality. Fine. Whatever. Have your Sues and eat them too. But couple that with the genericness of their aesthetic design and the already-poor art style of the original comic and you have a perfect piss-off-Lissa cocktail. Note to any budding artists out there: changing the hair/eye color/style of a person DOES NOT A NEW CHARACTER MAKE. If people tend to confuse your characters with each other, you are doing it. Fucking. Wrong.

Third, the history. Listen, Mr. Hotshot-Hetalia-Writer, if you're not going to do your fucking research, don't get anywhere NEAR the subject of world history to "satirize" (and APH is not satire, as this Deviant's journal kindly points out). The history of any given country, particularly of the powers involved in WWII, is a touchy, objective, and sometimes downright painful subject. To not handle the matter with care is a surefire way to piss off anyone whose life has been affected by things like the Holocaust or the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki or September 11th. If I've heard correctly, the comic completely glosses over the Holocaust. It's a comic about fucking World War II. Either include ALL of the war, both what little good is there to be found and the bad, or don't fucking cover the war at all. See what I mean? The very idea of trying to make light of such a dark part of history is incredibly offensive... and that's coming from someone who, to my knowledge, hasn't really been affected by WWII. Hell, I don't even give a damn about history and I don't claim to know much about it, I nearly failed that class a couple times. But I DO care about making fun of people who have done nothing wrong, and a LOT of innocents were wronged in that war. To pretend their suffering just didn't happen for the sake of entertainment is nothing short of despicable.

And I've saved the pettiest reason I hate Hetalia for last: the fucking fandom. I'll readily admit that mainstream anything tends to piss me off. Not always, but pretty damn often. I wouldn't even call Hetalia "mainstream," but it's popping up in enough places I frequent to REALLY get under my skin, DeviantART being the biggest offender here. A few people don't care for Hetalia because they're squicked by the yaoi it spawns. Well guess what? I love yaoi, and that's yet another reason I'm so pissed off by APH!! It's one thing to pair up fictional characters from a story and another entirely to slash entire countries with one another... and be entirely serious when you do so. If you were poking fun in an Encyclopedia Dramatica sort of way, fine by me. "OLOLOL THAT COUNTRY IS SO THAT OTHER COUNTRY'S BITCH LOLOL" and move on. But then people write fanfics and draw fanart of these bishounen that are supposed to represent countries and make them boink? And they actually try to make it serious? Excuse me?? I'm sorry, but the idea of countries even being attracted to one another is one I find so absurd as to be laughable. Countries, even anthropomorphized ones, do not have "relationships" with each other. It's all strictly business. Sure, you CAN twist all that around to fit your sparklypoo slashfics, but then you come right back to the issue of that whole "pissing off people" thing. Let's insult an entire generation of people for a silly little yaoi story. That sounds like a wonderful idea. :|

So there you have it, my overly wordy explanation for my anti-Hetalia-ness. All of that, plus the fact that I'm just really fucking sick of hearing about/seeing APH everywhere. Sane, rational people are treating this series like it's the best fucking thing to ever happen ever and that sentiment is pissing me off. It's not cute, it's not clever, it's not well-done, and no matter how many times you say otherwise, the fandom is fucking retarded... as most fandoms are.

And now I'm going to go read some nice, unoffensive, plotless yaoi to cool my rage - yaoi that is nothing more than two guys that are hot and want to sex it up. Nothing deeper than that. WHICH IS HOW IS SHOULD BE DAMMIT.
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:iconsoltakama:
Soltakama Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Then there's a new character introduced to the series and his name is Armageddon. He is armed with a sniper rifle called Big Bad Meteor and loves to 360 trickshot. He goes on a massacre and slays all the Hetalia allegories and nobody except him survives. That should totally happen, yet Himaruya has other plans. Dammit.
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:iconrussia-love:
Russia-Love Featured By Owner Edited 2 days ago
ok! fan or not, most of you are acting like whining 13 yearolds during a mental crisis. Ibarely see any mature people in this comment section. If this person wants to assume all fans are yaoi crazed lunatics then let this person bitch on and on about a tv show for years to come. I honestly don't give 1 flying fuck. I'm amazed you're still commenting after a whole 5 fucking years. Get a fucking hobby, a job, and a life and move on.
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:iconshaynah1:
shaynah1 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014
I totally agree with you.
Reply
:iconxxrinokumuraxx2001:
xxrinokumuraxx2001 Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014
Everyone so mad on this -sighs-... To be honest i am a hetalian myself, yes i love yaoi (sometimes) but being as a physical interpretation i think that they should be able to have relationship with whom ever they want. Now with WWII , they most likely excluded that because of the horrid stuff that went on in the war, I myself had a reletive of mine tell me the stories of what is was like and I in no absolute way find that in anyway affencive, my Great, Great Grandfather even laughs at the show and was happy they excluded it, because i believe people dont want to go through that pain again. Now within the manga, yes the drawing is in someway messy but it you were to watch HWS (hetalia world series) you would see that the art and graphics are better, even into beautiful world they are better.

Well that is my conclusion, have a very nice day :)
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:iconthegoldeneyes777:
Oh and just to prove we are not that crazy about our fandom, watch these.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghi7Eh…  (skip to 0:18 stupid intros)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLm6Gx… (vocaloid)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1HDuq…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ze4MN…  (best one)

Im a fan,and i love to see them all like that. I don't know why.
Oh and btw just one thing more. Whats the point of this rant? I hate Justin Beiber, One Direction, and a lot of things, yet i keep it to myself. And i don't force people to stop liking them, either. They like what they like, i like what i like. You see where im going with this, hopefully. And once again, this is not racist gay crack. These characters are countries. They have been in wars, started wars,lost wars, killed millions, including other nations (Prussia was told to kill HRE), and much more. They seem to be all happy happy happy, when half of them probably have depression. Even innocent Italy has killed. Think about it. If i had gone through all that, i would have killed myself. They cant. They're immortal.
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:iconusamihotaru:
UsamiHotaru Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014
TheGoldenEyes777-san. I agree with you on this. I also admire them. Maybe i wouldn´t hate Mewtaila so much if she doesn´t try to make people dislike it like that (if i´m wrong, please say where). It´s bad to rant like that. I also don´t like her sentences and mean word, like: 

"Let's insult an entire generation of people for a silly little yaoi story. That sounds like a wonderful idea."

She overdid it. Yeah. People have the right to have some opinions, but this is too much. She must not call Hetalia silly. Hetalia is (maybe) not a yaoi. It´s brotherly loves and friendships. What is wrong if thee is any hint? It´s just a normal comedy anime. And if se didn´t write this sentence, I would not be that angry. 

But maybe i, too, overdid it a little. Calling her Jerk, Retard, o something like that. I´m like her. A horrible person. I let rage take over me easily like that. France (Sad) [V4] 
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:iconthegoldeneyes777:
TheGoldenEyes777 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
Well its alright that you called her retarded since she called us the same...look at the update. That's pretty offensive to me too since i am autistic... She probably doesn't know the ACTUAL meaning of retarded,its a very rude word for a severely autistic person...
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:iconusamihotaru:
UsamiHotaru Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
Thank you. You are right. I don´t want to be like her. Japan emote 
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:iconthegoldeneyes777:
TheGoldenEyes777 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014
And Hetalia isn't actually supposed to teach history...Its to make you read more about that topic... so saying it full of historical errors is pretty stupid of her... and yeah, nobody should be like her, damn it read more about the thing your ranting about before ranting about it... Oh yeah and dont put a million exclamation marks in a rant, i can never take anything like that seriously...In any text, in fact. Do you even grammar brah? XD
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